IF KEYBOARDS COULD SPEAK

Ejimofor Hannah Chiamaka

If keyboards could speak, I believe that it’s first sentence would be directed to the typists who stares at the monitor as they blindly punch in every key without minding if it’s the heart of the keys or even the eyes.

If keyboards could speak, I’d advice them to speak to their inventor, Christopher Latham Sholes; and ask him why he started the alphabets with QWERTY instead of MYNAMEIS..

If keyboards could speak of all the numerous things we type at first before deleting. I guess our relationships might be different from what they all seem now.

If keyboards could speak of all the many times I tried to make a sentence look exquisite before posting a status, maybe you would learn to appreciate my little words.

If keyboards could speak, I will wear mine the nicest look and set his tone to sound melodious or even bossy, so that when it stands to speak of the many times I’ve stayed up late trying to update my vocabulary or even read up an article, I’d be understood.

If keyboards could speak, I guess my name would be more in the book of life for all those times, I had typed “I’m fine” with tears in my eyes, it would scream, “Hell no, you aren’t fine”.

If keyboards could speak, of the days I’ve stared at it lustfully wishing I was smart enough to make good use of it’s keys or even the days I’ve started at it angrily as I typed, punching each key with anger and hoping my rage gets to the other side, maybe I’d be convicted for attempted murder.

If keyboards could speak of the many hidden words in it, I would have been a better writer with words flowing sweetly.

If keyboards could speak of the silent curses, the smiles, the true laughter, the smirk on our faces, the tears and the blushes on our faces, then the world have been a better place.

If keyboards could speak to the parents staring at it every hour, it would remind them that they have kids waiting for their attention.

If keyboards could speak to the young scholars, I guess it would laugh at most them scornfully for staying up all night playing games.

If keyboards could speak, I might have to bribe it so as not to get me exposed of my browser history, that I have deleted countless times.

If keyboards could speak to me right now, it would say, “go, visit your lover, I need to take a break from your unending touches”.

If keyboards could speak, if keyboards could speak, then I won’t be here thinking if keyboards could speak. For all the times I had wanted to type yes but typed no, it would have screamed way beyond my pride. And for all the times I would have taken a break but didn’t, it would have shut itself down.